If You’re Gonna “Do” Social Media, Do It!

This past week I went to a Facebook page of a nonprofit organization. I was excited to have the opportunity to engage with people there. However, when I got to the page, it was filled with posts, a few comments, but NO conversation. The organization had posted different links and pieces of information. The few people who had actually commented got no response from the organization. My reaction? What’s the point?

Organizations and businesses are being strongly encouraged to join the social media game. Many are. That’s great. But, unless folks are willing to put the time in to learn how to utilize these tools effectively, it really isn’t worth showing up. It is called “social” media for a reason. You gotta be social! That means engaging in conversation. Too many believe social media is just a broadcast medium. But if that is how you are using Twitter or Facebook or some of these other tools, you are missing out. It’s ok to tell followers/friends what you are up to. But that is just a small sliver of what you should be doing. Most of what should be happening on social media is conversational or promoting other people’s stuff.

Think of it this way. Imagine walking into a room filled with people. Now stand on a chair with a megaphone and start shouting about yourself. You know exactly how people would respond. They would try to ignore you or give you funny looks. Some might ask you to be quiet or even to leave. The same is true with social media. If you just shout at folks, they will block you, hide your comments, unfollow you or just plain ignore you. And they should. You are not really contributing to the conversation. Because social media isn’t about you. It is about everyone. And when you make it about you, only you, most or all of the time, you miss the whole point. And no one is really going to care what you have to say.

So if you have a Facebook page, respond when people post or comment. They will want to comment again if you do. If you are on Twitter, don’t just send out a bunch of tweets about yourself or your organization. Respond to others’ tweets. Retweet what others are tweeting. Engage. It really works. And if you aren’t willing to do that, then just stay home.

 

Businesses and Social Good: It Takes Work to Make it Work

It has become trendy to do social good. Everyone is getting in on the act. This includes the business world. However, businesses doing social good is not a new idea. Think of the Ronald McDonald House or Target’s give back program. What is new is the number of businesses that are beginning to participate. Some companies, like Tom’s Shoes, have begun masterfully. Other companies and nonprofits have not been able to create meaningful partnerships and giving opportunities. As a nonprofit professional, I have followed this topic closely. So when I learned about Manifest Digital’s Insight Labs led by Jeff Leitner, I was intrigued. This think tank brings together corporate and business leaders for a 3 hour conversation with a government agency or nonprofit to work on an issue or problem. I was invited by Jeff to participate in a session so that I could blog about it afterwards.

The session I attended was with Genesis at the Crossroads. Their request was that the group work on the idea of converting fans into supporters. I had absolutely no idea what to expect. Jeff went around and introduced each person. Some of the most innovative and successful people from Chicago’s business community were in that room.

I have struggled to write this post for six weeks. With that much brainpower in the room, I expected there to be some very sophisticated solutions for Genesis. The conversation was interesting and there was some great input on the value of telling the right story with the right voice. And the concept of, “You can’t destroy and create at the same time.” was a discovery that has some wonderful implications for a nonprofit trying to convey why making music in conflict zones is important. However, I am not convinced any of it will make a real difference in the impact of Genesis. The founder could have gotten the same information at a coffee shop with some fellow nonprofit professionals. It was a really interesting conversation, but I’m not sure that the participants felt that they had done anything terribly important. And without that piece, they are less likely to want to do more.

I really like this idea of businesses getting involved with nonprofits and social good. I think it makes everyone better. But this involvement is still in its infancy and there is much more that needs to be learned in order to optimize this connection. To truly make this a valuable proposition, I think there should be much more conversation between nonprofits and businesses to learn about each other and about what each stands to gain from these relationships. There will be many attempts at this engagement. But until there is some real conversation, negotiation and learning that shapes this engagement, it will look more like wheels of a car spinning on a snowy day than something important and significant taking place.

 

Mother’s Day 2011: Moving On

Mother’s Day 2011. Caught me totally off guard. I thought it would be just another Mother’s Day. The day has been bittersweet for me since I lost my own mother 25 years ago. But having my three children certainly added meaning back into the day. And as time passed, the sting of not having a living mother on Mother’s Day lessened. But this year was different. And I didn’t realize it until I got to the day. There were some inklings. I was finding it difficult to post about To Mama With Love. I had committed to tweeting and posting on Facebook but I just couldn’t seem to embrace those tasks. Finally, when I posted an old photograph of my mother, (she was probably around 18) and the comments started rolling in, it hit me. This Mother’s Day is a loaded one for me. I mean, it is loaded every year when you lose your mother. But this year is my last year as a mom with my children living at home with me. This fall, my twins will be leaving for college. It is a time I have lived for. I truly adore my children. I love spending time with them. I genuinely like them as people. But after being a single mom for really all of their lives, I am ready to take care of me. It was in that mindset that I approached this annual celebration of mothers. When I posted my mother’s picture on Facebook, I mentioned that, after 25 years, I still missed her. Almost immediately people started posting about how beautiful she was and how she was watching over me. And so in the grocery store, reading those comments, I started to cry. Because as much as I am tired and ready to take care of me, I have loved being a mom. There is nothing in this world I ever wanted to be as badly as I wanted to be a mom. And it has been a very sweet ride. In spite of the fights and the exhaustion and the many, many, many thankless hours of never ending tasks, I wouldn’t give it up for anything else. Being a mom has added meaning to my life in ways nothing and no one else could. So, although I am ready for this next stage of my life to begin, I am feeling a little sadness about the end of this amazing and monumental stage of my life. I can’t wait to eat cereal for dinner and go to 5 night time meetings in one week and not feel guilty about not being home cooking and emotionally available to my kids. But for just this moment, I will be a little sad about what is ending and will acknowledge how lucky I am to have been able to be a mom and follow in the footsteps of a long line of proud, loving and strong women.

 

To All The Men I’ve Loved Before

MEN! How often in the past few days, weeks or months have you heard someone exclaiming negative generalities about them? I know I have far too many times. In the 50 years since I was born, there has been considerable effort put into empowering girls and women. And rightfully so. But while we are building girls and women up, do we have to also put down boys and men? I know that in many circumstances men have many advantages. I don’t want to push aside important conversations about equalizing access and power. But I am really tired of hearing so often about how terrible men are.

I truly can’t imagine my life without the extraordinary men I know. I have a father, two brothers and two sons who encourage me, listen to me, bring me great joy and make me laugh regularly. I have so many wonderful male friends of all ages who inspire me, provide incredible emotional support for me and make every day more interesting and more fun. Some of the men in my life are the greatest champions of women I know. Far more so than many of my women friends. They are incredible husbands, boyfriends, fathers and friends and deserve credit for that.

So let’s take a moment away from all the male bashing to notice those truly wonderful men in all of our lives. They probably don’t get told often enough that they are appreciated. What you say to them might just be the nicest thing they have heard from anyone in a long time. And if you are surrounded by men you don’t really like, it might be time to move on to find those you do. In my experience, I have found that there are plenty of great ones out there.

 

The Joy of Success: It’s Not Always What We Expect

A few weeks ago, I made my kids pasta with pesto and sauteed green beans.  A fairly typical dinner for us.  But what made it unusual was that we picked the basil for the pesto and the green beans in our family’s organic garden.  A few weeks earlier I had decided I was a total failure as a gardener.  I had spent quite a bit of money to create this garden.

Our raised bed garden newly built

Unfortunately, in early September, I still had nothing to show for my efforts…or expenses!  I convinced myself it wasn’t a big deal and even laughed a bit about it.  But one day, while unlocking the door to my house, I glanced over at the garden and saw a big green bean waiting to be picked!  I ran to investigate and found that we had a whole bunch of green beans that were full fledged real food we had grown.  I was delighted!  I also learned from Peterson Garden Project‘s Facebook pictures that what I thought was spinach, was actually basil.  Thus, a home grown feast (at least partially) was born!

"Bountiful" Harvest of Success!

I created this garden because I thought we as a family would benefit from the experience.  I also felt it was a less expensive way to provide healthy food.   However, my expectations did not align at all with what actually took place.  The real benefits were ones I did not anticipate.  We really didn’t get much in terms of produce from our garden.  I found that, other than some limited time with my kids, I did most of the work alone.  However, when I first began this gardening project, I became a part of a large community of gardeners, both online and in face to face interactions.  Some of these interactions have expanded well beyond the concept of gardening and have blossomed into full blown engagement.  Additionally, when I first saw the beginnings of green things pushing up through the soil, I experienced a sense of joy that I didn’t anticipate.

And when I saw that one lone green bean, again, I felt a deep sense of happiness.  When I first embarked on this project, I assumed success meant lots of home grown vegetables for my family.  Although by that measure, the garden was a catastrophic failure, I am overwhelmed by how meaningful the experience was for me.  And I find that it aligns in significant ways with another recent experience.

About a year ago, I attended SocialDevCamp Chicago (SDCChi.)  Although much of the content at the conference was far beyond my ability to understand, I was moved by the incredible interactions I had with participants.  I suggested to Tim Courtney (one of the SDCChi founders) that we needed to do a similar technology conference for nonprofit organizations.  Tim said it was a great idea.

THE Tim Courtney

Over the next year I worked to build this nonprofit technology conference.  My vision was to create an event for 200-300 nonprofit professionals to learn about technology.  That event,  Chicago COUNTs: A NetSquared Camp took place on September 12.

(Created by Paul Saini Photography)

And like my garden, its success looked very different from what I first anticipated it would be.  We had 70 people participate, not 200.  However, those 70 people were a group of rock stars in my world.  And because the group was only 70 people, there was a feeling of intimacy among participants.  People felt as though they were part of a very special community that was filled with wonderful resources, insights and support.  The feedback I received both during and after the event confirmed my own reactions to the day.  People expressed feelings of being profoundly impacted and suggested that this event was the beginning of exciting new changes in the community.  Ultimately, I experienced the supreme joy that I had hoped I would at Chicago COUNTs…but not for the reasons I had thought.

So now, as I embark upon building my own nonprofit consulting business (please send organizations and individuals my way!) I am thinking about these two surprising experiences.  I have a sense of what I want to create.  I want to work with organizations to help them expand their networks and to design innovative and exciting substantive programming.  I am confident these are two areas in which I could have a strong and positive impact.  Once again, I have expectations about what my success will look like.  However, after this past year of surprises, I am a little curious too.  Because clearly, success isn’t always what we expect it to be.

 

Low Income Children: Starting The Race Way Behind The Line!

I have been unemployed for over a year.  It hasn’t been because I haven’t tried all the best (and some of the not best) ways of obtaining a job.  The economy sucks.  And as a nonprofit professional, it is even worse!  I have 3 children and an ex-husband who has been unemployed and doesn’t feel any obligation to pay any child support.  So the past year has been a little rough.  However, we are a lucky family because we have a very big and strong safety net.  My father and brothers have told me from the beginning that they will provide as much financial support as we need.  It is pretty extraordinary that they are so generous and I appreciate the profound difference this makes in our lives.

It is within this framework of support that we have experienced this past year.  It has been challenging, but certainly not at the level that most low income families experience.  As the school year approaches, the challenges that summer seems to eliminate come back fully into focus.  This week, we had to begin navigating the system again as a low-income family, without anything nearly sufficient in terms of support or guidance.  Just purchasing school books for the year is full of complicated requirements.  We received no reminder that we needed to reapply for free books.  So when I brought my two teens to the school for some scheduling issues, I happened to remember to go into the appropriate office and ask what we needed to do.  My kids were supposed to buy books the next day, so we took the forms and worked on assembling the required documents.  However, we were not able to finish everything that was needed by the end of the day.  The next morning I went to school early to drop everything off.  While there, I was told about documents they would need that were not listed on the form.  So I went home and assembled those documents, some of which needed printing.  Of course being a low-income family, technology is a struggle.  Our five-year-old desktop computer can no longer print for some reason.  (Who can afford tech support or a new computer?)  And the laptop my brother bought me usually works, but this morning the printer was not responding at first.  Eventually I got it to work, but it did take a long time.  As I sat waiting for the school to approve our request for free books I was overwhelmed with frustration.  Ultimately, they didn’t have enough time to approve our application before the bookstore closed.  We have qualified for free books every year we have applied.  I would guess with less income this year, we will qualify again.  Of course, we didn’t know about it when my older son was in high school.  They don’t really advertise.  You just have to know to ask the right questions.  Cool, right!?!?

I tell you all of this NOT because I want your pity.  On the contrary.  We as a family feel extraordinary gratitude for all we have.  We know that we are doing so much better than most of the world and even much of the United States.  My point is that, if it is this complicated, frustrating and time consuming for me, a woman with a master’s degree, no significant worries about keeping my house and feeding my kids, what must it be like for the truly low income families?  What about homes where English is a second language?  What about families where parents work two and three jobs and kids are attempting the task of applying for free books on their own?  What about homes where there is a profoundly disabled or severely sick family member?  How are they, with fewer tools, less support and far more desperate situations, supposed to navigate a system that is pushing me very quickly to the point of wanting to give up?

We, the low-income families in the United States, are already stressed and tired and overworked.  Many of us are functioning with less sleep, less opportunity for stress relief, less support systems and with some real handicaps.  Until my brother bought me a laptop computer, printing was a real challenge at my house.  My kids would have to go to the public library and pay for copies or go to school early to print there.  When my kids are required to do projects for school they do not have access to so many of the technological tools that many of their peers have.  If asked to create a video of some sort, they are required to work within the constraints of what the school can provide.

Truthfully, much of this has been very positive for my kids.  They have an appreciation for their lives and an understanding of the reality of socio-economic status in the world.  They are pretty independent compared to others their age.  But we are NOT the typical low-income family.  I gotta believe we are really doing a profound disservice to the families who are more typical.  But nobody is asking the right questions to find out how to make the system better.  Nobody is trying to find out how to accommodate the lives of low-income families to bring those kids to the same starting point as the higher-level income families.  Kids shouldn’t be penalized because their parents make less money.  But that is EXACTLY what our system does right now.  If you don’t think this is so, just consider the education and opportunities my children get compared to those in low-income communities.  We are benefiting from living in a higher income community, which is just not available to so much of our population.

It is time for our schools, governments and entire communities to start talking with AND mostly LISTENING to our low income citizens and finding out what they might need to make life just a little bit easier…to allow their children to get the most out of their school years.  Ultimately, the changes we make will benefit the entire country, as our children, all of them, will be better able to learn and ultimately better equipped to function in the community as adults.

 

Event Brite Page for r 9/12 Tech/Nonprof

Event Brite Page for r 9/12 Tech/Nonprofit Conference: http://chicagocounts.eventbrite.com Time 2 rock & roll tweeps! cc @NetSquared

 

Mapquest to Joy: First You Gotta Show Up!

This afternoon my 17 year old daughter Sophie called me from her job at the local ice cream shop to tell me they asked her to stay until close and requested that I bring her dinner.  As a family we work hard to be as environmentally friendly as possible and I am passionate about feeding my kids healthy food.  I made Sophie two vegetarian bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches (on bread with NO corn syrup!) and some organic strawberries.  I placed the food on real dishes (we don’t use most paper products any more) and brought the food to her.  As I was walking across the town square carrying the food to her, I felt a profound sense of joy.  I am a Jewish mother, so feeding people is a part of my very essence.  As crazy as it may sound, at that moment, walking that delightfully healthy but also equally delicious (and truly beautiful looking) plate of food to my daughter felt like a supreme moment.  I don’t know if this feeling is something others can understand.  Perhaps it was the conscious thought I put into making that food healthy combined with the simplicity of what I was doing…nurturing Sophie both physically with the food and emotionally with my presence…I’m not sure exactly what it was, but I just felt great joy.

As I was thinking about what it was that inspired that joy, my mind wandered to Sophie’s (and her 2 brothers’) father.  I felt a sense of sadness as I realized, probably for the first time, what he really was missing.  I always knew that his complete absenteeism from his children’s lives would ultimately be his loss.  I knew he was missing out.  But I think today, as I brought that meal to my daughter, I felt deep in my soul, exactly what he is missing.  It is those simple moments that cannot ever be explained, but only experienced.  And you have to be there to experience them.

So, yes, I am tired…very tired.  20 years of conscious parenting, raising children who are ethical, strong, free spirited and happy is really hard work.  Like any parent, I have always known intellectually, no matter how hard it was, that the payoff would be worth it.  But during those moments like today, as I carried that food to Sophie, it wasn’t my intellect telling me this was a good moment.  It was my heart and my spirit.  And that was worth every ounce of tiredness that I have ever felt as a parent.

 

Homage to a Network*

About a year ago, my virtual friend (not virtual pretend, but virtual, we connected on LinkedIn and until recently, had never met) Chris Jarvis told me to read The Tipping Point. I had heard of the book but didn’t know much about it.  Chris told me I was a connector as described in the book.  Little did I know how right he was.

I don’t know if it is genetic or if connectors are created.  But I do know that I just LOVE connecting.  I have always been a connector for as long as I can remember.  With the advent of new/social media like Twitter, the networking game has been taken to an entirely new playing field.  For me, it is about connecting with people who teach me new things, inspire me to do more and who open my mind to a world I might otherwise not know about.

All of this virtual connecting is allowing me to create some very interesting relationships with people with whom I might never have crossed paths if not for social media.  I have developed incredibly close ties with people who I have never met in real life.  Many of these relationships are as important to me as those with my very best friends.  I know that this may sound quite odd, especially for those who are not familiar with social media.  It sounds a bit crazy to me too!

Recently, I had the opportunity to turn several of those virtual relationships into real life encounters.  The Cause Marketing Forum was in Chicago.  I am not a cause marketing person (don’t even play one on tv) and like many conferences, this one was a little pricey for a non-marketing just hung out the shingle nonprofit consultant.  Several of my virtual friends were in town for the conference. Fortunately, one of these friends suggested I come downtown at the end of the conference to meet with her.  Without that invitation, I probably would not have had the nerve to “crash the party.”

I really enjoyed reconnecting with some Chicagoans and meeting great Twitter friends in person that day.  I have found that meeting people in real life has a profound impact on the depth of the relationship.  But honestly, meeting Chris Jarvis, who has felt like a dear friend for the past year since we first connected virtually, made the entire afternoon surreal.  It seems as though Chris and I have been friends forever.  To speak with him in person for the first time just didn’t make sense.  I literally could not wrap my brain around the experience.

Just recently, “Social Media Today” posted a piece on their blog titled, “Social networks are redefining what a friend or a relationship really is.”  In this post, it was suggested that words like friend may become less meaningful as it becomes easier and easier to vastly expand our networks.  However, I would hate to casually dismiss my virtual relationships with people as not “real” just because we met online.  These networking methods really are just tools that facilitate creating wonderful relationships with people.  Ultimately some become equally meaningful to those relationships I establish through more traditional methods.  I met Chris on LinkedIn. We only met in real life after an entire year of engaging online. But my friendship with him is one I treasure and is certainly of equal value to those in my non-virtual world.

So, if you are one of those people who is resisting trying out some of these new tools, I dare say you are missing out.  I can’t imagine my life right now without the incredible relationships I have gained through social media.  It’s difficult for me to envision trudging through this past year of unemployment without that important community!  So thank you to my new friends of this new world.  You know who you are, but perhaps not how much I value your friendship!

(Be sure to check out this new blog on CNN.com called Netiquette that will help us figure out networking etiquette. )

*Thanks to Bonnie Koenig (another GREAT relationship in my network) for inspiring the title.

 

Like PR for a Rapist

It started a few days ago when I saw a blog post about BP missing an opportunity on social media because the company was not totally engaged.  A twitter account that looked just like a legitimate BP account has been tweeting “tongue in cheek” posts and was becoming viral with follower numbers climbing exponentially.  The account was clearly not by BP and the post chastised BP for not taking the opportunity to utilize social media as they navigate the Gulf of Mexico oil spill disaster.  There was a pretty lengthy discussion in the comments section and a large number of tweets and RT’s about the post.

I couldn’t help feeling, as I read it all, that the discussion was really missing something very critical.  To have a discussion about the “management” of BP’s public image in the aftermath of this oil spill is so out of bounds to me.  Did we discuss how Ted Bundy managed his image during his trial for the vicious murder of a number of young women?  Did we consider how the Oklahoma City bomber or the Twin Towers terrorists managed their images?  Then why is this any different?  11 people died on that exploding oil rig.  Countless numbers of creatures will die covered with that horrendous oil slick.  And who knows if the people who’s livelihood depended on fishing in that area will ever be able to go back to their work again.  Yesterday, I heard that the entire Gulf will be forever changed because much of the Gulf sea life begins in that area and then migrates throughout.  If the area is destroyed or entire populations of sea life eliminated then that is perhaps a permanent elimination of some of the creatures there.

Clearly, the executives and others at BP made decisions before the beginning of this crisis with an understanding that there was significant risk involved in what they were doing.  Essentially, they just didn’t really care.  They gave a big old middle finger to just about everyone as their greed and selfishness guided their choices.  Sure there is some outrage among some.  And probably just about everyone has had a brief exchange about how terrible this is.  But instead of using this as a teachable moment about “damage control” and utilizing the latest tools in social media, why aren’t we having lengthy discussions about how a company could get away with such a total lack of ethical and civic responsibility?  Why aren’t we using every PR/Marketing tool at our disposal to send a message to BP and every other company out there that doesn’t understand what corporate social responsibility (csr) is and putting intense pressure on them to NEVER conduct themselves in this manner again?  It is time for WE THE PEOPLE to be mad as hell and convey in no uncertain terms to EVERY company in this country that we really are NOT going to take it anymore.